Review: The Devil Inside

2012 marks are official dive into reviews, including music and movies. Check out the finished review section in the navigation bar, then check out the review for 2012's first horror movie, The Devil Inside, after the jump!

I had been absolutely dying to see The Devil Inside since around November, because it looked to be as promising and frightening as Paranormal Activity. After about a week of searching for someone brave enough to go watch it with me, I ended up at an exclusive screening of the film on Thursday, a couple of hours before the Midnight screen. The theater was full of employees and their friends, so it wasn't Nashville's typical crowd of hoopin' and hollerin' urban youth (which is disappointing because that usually intensifies the movie).

The opening scene of the movie cast darkness throughout the theater as a crackling rotary phone connected to 911 emergency and filed a complaint... that complaint being that she had killed three people and that the police needed to hurry there. She didn't seem too pressed about it though. Without giving away too much, this part of the movie excelled in the cinematography department. The homemade VHS footage was a lot more realistic than Paranormal Activity's 3rd installment, which completely failed when it came to texturizing the footage.

The actual movie started out Mock-umentary style, showing footage of the main character, cameraman and random members of the clergy giving testimonials on exorcisms. It was pretty interesting stuff that seemed to be leading up to another Church vs. State movie, sort of like the Exorcism of Emily Rose. This was followed by tons of stories about the main character's disheartening revelation that her mother was in insane, possibly demon-possessed, psychopathic lunatic bitch with insanely dry hair and a desperate need for Chapstick. 

Throughout the film, there was an unfortunate lack of surprises. Every scare was cliché and anticipated, as the lights would go out or the camera man would be frantically panning. That wasn't the worst part, though. The story completely fell apart halfway through as we began following the tale of two rogue Priest who were on a let's-do-the-right-thing, fuck-the-church misadventure. They just happened to meet up with this girl who is the daughter of one of their typical "patients." Again, I don't want to give too much away. 

The effects? Nothing that you couldn't see in a gymnastics class. Really, just a bunch of back bends. The only stand out move in the move was completely identical the the final scene of Paranormal Activity 3. Otherwise, we had really seen this all before. Honestly, I had a Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestly moment where I said, "she's climbing up the wall now? Groundbreaking," which was followed by a eye-roll, face palm combo. Still, the movie was only getting started, and I was excited to see everything go bat-shit crazy!

...or so I though. Just when we seemed to be hitting the climax, the scream went black and the credits started rolling. I had felt so let down since Britney's 2007 VMA performance. Really? That was it? The crowd felt the same way as they simultaneously erupted into a heckling frenzy. The movie was nothing that the previews promised. No genuine scares. No mind blowing effects. No originality whatsoever. It was just bad. 

Bottom Line: If you're thinking about going to see this movie, don't. Instead, take the money that you were planning on spending at the theater, and light it on fire. It will be just as frightening.